Thursday Aug. 12, 2010 - Morning Pages - Day #2 - Upper East Side Dunkin' Donuts

I've got my ice coffee, got my chocolate frosted/sprinkled donut (I didn't order sprinkles, it came with it), and my Dunkin' Donuts window seat view...two pay-phones growing mold on the receivers as I write - what a view -- hence (I like to hence often when writing / probably not a good thing)...hence, I've got it all! And now I'm ready (as I'll ever be) to write today's "Morning Pages" -- and it is morning this time. It's 11:12 AM. I awoke at 8AM though, showered, had some low-fat vanilla yogurt, a new discovery of mine...was deprived on many things as a youngster...no yogurt in my diet was one of them...I took the trip from Bay Ridge Brooklyn to the Upper East Side to write today's "Morning Pages". Why here? Well, a friend lives nearby (which I have no plans in meeting of meeting), but once I wrote in a park that inspired many award-winning thoughts of mine...The Thought-Awards 2010, airing this Fall! - "Garrett Kennedy once thought...he deserves an award for that"...

I walked to the park, but first got off the train, walked outside and saw that it had rained. When I got to the park my suspicion was confirmed - all the benches and tables were wet. It hasn't rained much in a month. It does on the day I decide to travel an hour and fifteen minutes to a damn park to write outside. Where was that ironic warning in your song Alanis Morissette? - many of which warnings in your song are not ironic - like this here occasion for me...just simple bad luck - bullshit Jesus!...But anyways, I've go my ice coffee. That's my vice (along with sleep deprivation). We all have vices - say it's food, some drugs, music, sex...reading...Yeah, reading as somebody's vice. Man, that Carl, he's reading again. Or, what about Gandhi's? What was his vice? Gandhi's vice was no-vices. Man, that Gandhi man, he's on that no-vice shit again, man he's crazy (man man man)...back to the food vice. This might be the worst as I'm reminded of Krispy-Kreme's new "donut-bacon burger" -- And Armageddon has begun. It's worse than we thought too. Instead of a big bang because of an asteroid or something and the world ending immediately, we're in a slow decay transforming into the epitome of "you are what you eat"...you come up with what a person becomes after eating a donut bacon burger. I've got better things to do with my time than discuss the people that actually order that. Just when I thought "you've got to be kidding me" -- you don't have to be...

...Somebody's using the pay phone. I write that like it should be breaking news, or at least on the bottom scroller. Scroller -- Upper East Side news -- outside Dunkin' Donuts, a man used the pay phone, witnesses were speechless so we have no quotes...think about the last time you used a pay phone. If it was in the 2000s then it couldn't have been for a good reason - shit must have gone down -- when is an occasion when shit must have gone up?...ask the college kid that drank too much last night...there's your answer...

...the pay phone's outside across the street from a church in case somebody wants to call Jesus and make an appointment. He disguises it, but hates when people just pop-in. He could be just getting out of the shower, or waking up after a night out with some old buddies, or enjoying some pleasure reading of what we call history, or fact, as he reads and shakes his head, "This isn't how it happened"...or maybe he's still laughing at my brother saying, "Jesus, I fucking love that guy", and then you walk in and ask for forgiveness, which he easily gives you every time so you can get the Hell out of there and he can go on with his day...use the pay phone, make an appointment with Jesus' secretary first - that's all I'm saying...

...It's now raining again. I have almost finished today's "Morning Pages" and was thinking about walking around trying to find a bookstore to read/write in -- but no, it's raining, and I never bring an umbrella, unless I play Rihanna's song "Umbrella" on my Ipod...or, if it's really sunny out. Yes, I'm one of those people that break out the umbrella when it's sunny out - wait - no, I'm not. These people make me want to reconsider my opinion on the death penalty - they must go...but anyways, my quest for a bookstore will have to wait until it stops raining - it's coming down now! (not that shit we were discussing before, but the rain) -- Unless! - I go across the street, ask for forgiveness (he knows what I did!) and mide as well ask for more and ask for it to stop raining -- but I don't have time (except the rest of my life) to make an appointment. I'm just going to pop-in. It's time Jesus gets up anyways...I take the last few sips of ice coffee, no it's coffee ice now (ha!) (no ha!), put on my headphones (ask the Lord where I should roam)...(pause)...I'm writing this and a nun actually walks into Dunkin' Donuts. She's drinking coffee...she's telling me, it's OK, Jesus has vices too. Yeah, he likes his ice coffee too, and like you, doesn't call it Iced. I take a couple sips of my coffee, she tries to hide her annoyance and then I try to hide mine at the idea that people get annoyed or consider it improper to make that sipping noise when you're down to the bottom of a cup - get over it! -- She did, and proceeded to tell me about Jesus' vice. He doesn't consider it a vice though. She said he doesn't like to get too religious, but he calls them prayers. She said think about your future and what you want. Think about your vice. Ice coffee huh? And sleep deprivation? What else? Music? Great...Now ask yourself whether those add to that future you want...She said some days you'll be convinced they don't, but other days you'll rationalize that they do...I feel like I'm writing The Shack!...

Pause here for today's "Morning Pages" - I like what I'm writing here and will add later -- it has stopped raining for the most part, the nun's listening to her Ipod now. I guess before I was just talking to myself the whole time. Yeah, I thought I was really talking to the nun too! I gather my stuff, walk toward the door, the nun's in the zone...well, not "thee zone", but "her zone" - and she doesn't know I exist except for me being that weirdo that stopped before the door and seemed to be narrating in front of her. I'm glad to supply a story for her to share with the other sistas later...She shuffles the Ipod -- and I fall into corniness (I guess?) and imagine her pressing pause and telling me, "Forget Jesus, make an appointment for yourself...everyday"...I walk out the door...knock on the window and mouth to the nun, "Don't tell me what to do"...and go and try to find that bookstore.

...

Wed. August 11, 2010 - Morning Pages - Day #1 - Central Brooklyn Public Library

Looking at the date above isn't intimatdating at all, especially considering I'm at the libray and am about to shit in my pants -- and I'll be damned if I place my beautiful ass on these toilet seats. Julia Cameron is a writer, a visionary (or at least she thinks so). I'm guessing she envisioned those participating in her "Morning Pages" exercise would begin with something like this. I'm a writer, a visionary (or at least I think so) and I envisioned many topics to jump-off day #1 of my "Morning Pages" on my walk to the Central Brooklyn Library near Grand Army Plaza. Let's go over those topics I envisioned.

Note: Don't make eye-contact with woman wearing glasses in cubical diaginal from you. Her computer keeps making noises, she keeps apologizing, at this point I think to herself, and on second thought, I think it's a man...no eye-contact...

First, Julia Cameron's The Right to Write has many intiation tools to get writers writing. She says her most effective one is the "Morning Pages". She's been a full-time writer for over 30 years and every morning shes wakes up, puts on coffee and starts writing her 3 pages -- which now she's pretty competant in accomplishing in approx. 20 minutes. The idea is not how long it takes, but the act of writing every day and this task is supposed to last 90 days. I'm on day #1...2 and 1/4 pages and 89 days to go -- off to a great start. I've attempted similar projects on my own, but have never followed through. I've begun writing before, making proclamations - like, if you don't write today you can't see your girlfriend. I still have that writing in some notebook I couldn't find earlier today -- but I do know that proclamation lasted maybe a week. I thought about making another proclamation, but I now reject that idea adn will take Ms. Cameron's advice, which is the "just do it" attitude. She does not have an endorsement deal with Nike (but I do so I'm obligated to mention the company), but good advice, nonetheless. So, no proclamation, or lists of what I want to write here, or anymore -- just writing -- and here we go.

Sidebar: Sittin in library, pen in hand, no ideas stand, stroking my newly grown beard, diagnally across from woMan, she's weird and also is stroking a beard, told ya about how once upon a time, she I feared, and eye-contact was made, she smiled and forced that forced smile and now I feel weird...so for now I'm gonna continue stroking, n-stroking, n-stroking me beard 'cause I've got nothing to write and stroking a beard just might lend me insight into something that'll enable someone like me to sleep with themselves tonight...goodnight...

The problem, or my problem, or one of my many problems, "Mo money, mo problems", something I can't relate to...a problem is that all I'm doing is trying to fill up 3 pages and feel this writing sucks...it doesn't mean anything. I know this is what all writers feel at some point, but -- but nothing...keep writing and you'll feel better afterwards says Ms. Cameron...but first I"m going to pause to take a leak.

Yeah, I've scratched the proclamation idea; however, I do have ideas for this 90 days project. Each day I want (notice I say "want" now...in the past, with those proclamations, I've said "will"; "we'll see" is what lingers now)...Each day I want to write some place different. Ms. Cameron talks about writers being different. Writers write in different places and I need to find what works for me, what's "comfortable". To me, that word "confortable" is dangerous though. Confort lacks spontaneity and new experience. So, I want to write in a different place everyday. Today's spot's the Central Brooklyn Public Library. Tomorrow's spot? Who knows. I'm going to, or want to, we'll see, wake up and decide spontaneously, maybe even just ride trains and write - like Ms. Cameron said, see where the writing (or riding) takes me. The other part of the idea is that I will wake up do this as if I had a 9-5 job -- "as if"...These are supposed to be done in the morning, hence "Morning Pages" -- I think Dylan had a song called that...or was it "My Back Pages"? - I think so. Today I go a late start (but you're right! I've made up for it with this great writing!)...pause for leak again...damn ice coffees!...

I'm back. A successful trip to John. Writing "The John" is a waste of paper...which leads you to tell me that telling/writing you that writing "The John" is a waste of paper IS a waste of paper...but in the end (and it's near, for you) it is not a waste of paper...and neither was my idea about starting a newspaper dedicated to saving trees!...I needed to explain thus here so in the future people simply say, "I've got to go to bathroom, I'm going to, or where's John"...explain this revolution in further detail at a future date...a successful trip to John (Jon?)...

My continued idea...Everyday, a different palce to write these "Morning Pages", and always have two books -- a novel, or pleasure book, and a writing book. Today I have Julia Cameron's The Right to Write, and Ben Mezrich's 21: Bringing Down the House. Reading these will keep me writing, and fill "the well" a writer needs to fill (as Ms. Cameron says)..."Well", that essentially concludes today's "Morning Pages" (even though it's 3 PM...how long do quotes have to be used?). Tomorrow I will, I want to get off to a better, earlier start. Along with that John-trip, I'd say this has been a successful day #1 of my "Morning Pages" - quotes still needed because it's 3:05 "PM"...hence "Morning" and forever hence "successful".